


Nathan Prescott: Life He Deserves

by PoliMollyKari



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, and he gets enough help to not be a total dick later in the story, au where nathan gets an ending he deserves, nathan being supported by his friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-02-23 14:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13192095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoliMollyKari/pseuds/PoliMollyKari
Summary: Story of Nathan Prescott through his own eyes, where he gets enough help and support to stop all of the horrible things happening to him.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> First off, my native language isn't English, so apologies for any mistakes. Feel free to correct me in the comments.  
> And most importantly, I always wanted to read some fanfiction where you get to see things happening through Nathan's eyes, and where author actually explores his character and where we could see some development from the canon, towards the good side of his personality.  
> I have never found a story which suited my needs, so here I am, writing my own.
> 
> Nathan is my most favourite character and I want to do him justice in this fic. It's gonna differ from canon as story proceeds more and more, because Nathan's character is gonna shape into different direction, because of the things that's gonna happen to him here. (and shoul've happened to him in original game too, but I won't vent here)
> 
> Definitely let me know if you enjoy this story!

Quivering leaves. Sunlight crawls onto my face and is forcing me to close my eyes.

School just started, great.

Actually, it’s already October. But there’s still a long way to go, until I’ll have a break.

On the other hand... a break from _what?_ Because at home it’s hell. Even worse than at school.

Ugh. Why do I even have to keep this journal?

Ah, yes. Because my previous therapist told me so, and subconcionsely I still believe that it helps me. Maybe it really does.

Being here is actually better than at home. Especially when I can stay in my room and just edit photographs that I took recently.

  
I tried to make friends, or.. whateverthefuck it is called. But everybody is already pissed at me, either because I'm a rich kid or because I'm a Prescott. This sucks.  
  
I look out of the window, carefully drawing back the curtains.  
Nobody seems to be outside. I'm lucky today.  
  
It's not that I'm _afraid_ going out or anything, ugh. It's just. I don't want to encounter these people who are mean to me practically without any reason. Fuck them.

So I step out of my room, locking it with secure code, camera around my neck, black bag on the back and I'm clutching brownish vintage journal in my hands.  
  
Weather is quite chilly today, but I'll survive in this blue sweater. I guess.  
  
When I found myself in the park in front of the dorms, - _Prescott dorms, yes, my dad financed even this_ \- I sat on the bench and looked around, seeing literally no one.  
Feels like everyone around here just died. Ha, what a thought.  
  
So I opened the journal and placed it on the knees, starting to write with a black pen.  
  
This place sucks. I miss my sister... standing up to my dad with her and regretting it later together. She didn't write me from that.. jungle social work job where she's at, so. I guess she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of the Prescotts now. And I understand that.  
  
It's still so hard to realise that what's happening to me is not normal.  
I always thought that doing everything that my dad says is normal. Because even if it's something that I didn't want to do.. he told me that it was for my own good. And I always believed in his words.  
My therapist was the first person, who truly opened my eyes on that topic and I literally felt like some wall broke down before me.  
  
But even now - when I'm starting to realise that everything is bad and wrong - he manages to make me do things that I don't want to do.. because he tells me that I'm the best child he ever had. That I'm his pride. That he loves me.  
He just recently bought me this new camera. He always cares for me.. so much.  
How can such a good dad manipulate me? It's hard to understand.  
  
  
Suddenly I hear voices and I can see a group of freshman girls roll into this place.  
Sweet silence was broken, ugh.  
In their group of four there's one who walks silently beside them, looking worried.  
  
Hm? Oh, that's Sam! But I can't approach her if she's with some other people. Even though it doesn't look that she enjoys their company.  
She looks up and warmly smiles and waves her hand at me.  
I couldn't help it and smile too, - a little, but sincerely - nodding in acknowledgment.  
  
Samantha. Really the only reason, why I'm still here. She's so.. protective of me. And she cares, and wants to spend time with me.. it's so strange, no one never acted towards me that way before. And I start to realise that _this_ is, what people call friendship. Being fond of each other and not wanting anything in return, or being confident that the other person won't fuck you over, stab in the back.  
I'm not used to that, and I'm gonna show another side of me only to her. Everyone else doesn't care anyways. They would like me better if I was dead, for sure.  
  
Everyone beating the crap out of me and bullying me just because I'm Prescott. Doesn't matter if I didn't do anything. Apparently being satan's son is enough.  
  
So I'm being bullied because of him and being abused by him. Awesome, isn't it.  
The best part is, that there's no escape!  
Boom. Everywhere you look, there's a trap. Someone trying to kick you, insult you, threaten you.  
I hate it. I hate myself. I hate everyone in this damned school. I hate my father. I hate it I hate it I hate it-  
  
"Nathan? Are you okay?" suddenly, a high-pitched voice wakes me up from this state, gently putting a hand onto my shoulder.  
Only she does it this way. I don't even look up and just squint my eyes.  
  
It seems that she abandoned her not-so-interesting group of "friends" to talk to me.  
  
"I'm never okay, Sam." I reply quietly, and finally look up.  
  
She gives me a sad, understanding smile.  
God, I love her. She knows what's going on better than almost every professional I stumbled upon.  
  
"I know.. Wanna eat something, maybe somewhere outside the school?" she asks and smiles again, this time more enthusiastically.  
  
"Yeah, sure." I nod and put my crappy notebook into the bag. We head out towards the town. Today there's only late lessons, so we have plenty of time.  
  
"So.. I see that you started taking your diary out? Finally." she sighs and looks at my black bag with a small smile.  
  
I got a little flustered about this one. It's not-  
  
"It's not a diary, Sam!" I tell her offensively, "it's just.. the therapist told me to do this everywhere when I feel like it. Today's just. The bad day, because I zoned out whilst writing in it." I rolled my eyes and looked away, trying to distract my thoughts by thinking about fast food, which we're gonna definitely get soon.  
  
"Mh-hmm." she hums, "the old one, I assume?" Sam said quietly.  
  
I just nod. She means the therapist that I had before this one.  
We both know what happened. I mean. I told her. She didn't know, obviously.  
  
And why did my father fire her? Was she bad at her job? Not professional enough? Or maybe she was a "bad influence", you know, probably a lesbian, or breaking some other idiotic social standard. No, she was.. _too good._  
  
_She was actually helping me. She was the best one, the most normal and actually caring one._  
  
That's exactly why he did it. My father wants everything to just look like he's trying to help, make me feel better.  
But he does all the fucking opposite, under his disgusting shell of a "nice and decent man".  
  
"C'mon, lets get some food." I patted her on the back and went ahead to order some fries, for both of us.  
I categorically forbade her paying for anything if we're together somewhere. I mean, I'm a Prescott, right?  
Until I'm out of my dad's firm grip, I'm gonna waste aaaall his money on my only friend.  
And it's not like I'm buying her Lamborghini every other day.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm about to knock on my father's door. I mean, normally this kind of thing shouldn't be scary, right?    
And I guess that normally dads don't have huge marble doors to their rooms either.   
But anyways, I'm about to do it. I'm sure he's not gonna come out for a while on his own, though.. especially when he has everything connected to his room. Why do we even live in such a big place? _I don't get it._ _  
_ But I shouldn't trail off, I shouldn't.   
  
Uhhh, that's getting stupid. Come on, Nathan.   
  
I can't help it, but I pull out my good old vintage journal from my bag - because I was about to go to school, but something urgent came up in my head, so I'm heading to my father's office instead - and scribble at least a few pages of my thoughts.   
It made a trick, calmed me down.   
  
Okay, it's time. With a few moves I packed my things once again and then knocked on the door. Before the fear had a chance to kick in.   
  
I opened the massive door and peeked inside. Dad was sitting at his desk, papers, envelopes and money all around him.   
He barely looked at me and nodded as a sign for me that I can distract him.    
  
"Dad, I.." What should I say? Now that I think about it, it doesn't seem as a big deal at all. But there's no chance in hell that-   
  
"Nathan? What brings you here?" Sudden strong voice of my dad makes all of my previous thoughts panic for a second and I go totally blank, just staring at him.   
"Are you alright?" He stands up with a creak of his big leather chair and that literally punches some energy and life into me once again. I don't want him a step closer to me. At least not early in the morning... _please._ _  
_ So, instinctively, I take a light step back. Idiot. He's gonna notice that I'm afraid of him or something.   
  
"I just.. wanted to ask if you could ask principle Wells.. if he could give me a place in Blackwell's football team?"    
He didn't sit down yet. Shit.   
  
"You do realise that you can't play at all, right? At least not.." He now slowly started going around his table - towards me. ".. on a Blackwell's team level."   
Now he stood up right before me and I wanted to run _so badly._   
  
"I know. It's just.. you told me to try and blend in with everyone else, but also to build some respect. People on the team get it all. And I will try my hardest to become good at it, for you, dad."   
"Aren't we being too harsh, now?" He said, but he smiled so sincerely and looked so.. trustworthy for everything that I do. Is it really normal in other families too?   
"Daddy." I correct myself almost immediately.   
He looks satisfied with it and then throws a disappointed look over my bag.   
"You going to school, right?" He asks.   
"Yeah.. can't skip the first class, so I better go." I answer.   
  
"Go then. Good luck. I'll make you the part of the team, don't worry." I felt a slight slap on my ass as I turned to go out of his office.   
"Thanks." I muttered loudly enough for him to hear, and then carefully closed the massive door behind me.   
  
Why... why am I putting up with this shit? This is not normal, is it? He always says that that's the true dynamic of a real son-father relationship but is this.. that's not normal, is it?   
My head feels like it's about to explode and all I want is to just escape from this place, which feels like just a fancy prison to me, so I leave in a real hurry.   
  
My dad always demands that I stay at home until Monday morning, and then travel to school with our driver, but today that's not an option, I don't wanna be near dad's things at least for a while.   
  
I never went to school by bus before. And I even forgot my blue book. Dammit.   
But I can't go back now. I'd rather never go back.   
Holy shit. I can't even tell anyone!   
Nobody... would care anyways. I don't think that even Samantha would.   
  
I think about it later as I quietly entry my class, where so many hateful eyes are staring me down.   
  
***   
  
I thought that I'd enjoy at least drama club today, but apparently nothing's going my way.   
Everyone is trying to sabotage me, my image and my confidence..   
I can play a slave. Of course I can!   
  
I turned my hands into fists and tried to calm myself, looking at a script before my eyes, laying on my "actor's space". I have the one in the corner, even behind the curtain, so no one could disturb or touch me.   
  
I shouldn't get worked up by this. It's just a role.. and I'm gonna nail it. Caliban? That's my second name from now on!    
And I love acting, because it gives me the chance to be someone else, someone less fucked up than I am.. so I can do it.   
  
There goes a loud exhale, relaxing my palms by my sides and straightening my posture.    
Everything is... fine. Nobody's out here to get me.    
We were just assigned the roles and no one can remember their whole script yet.   
You're not worse than everybody, come on, you know that.   
  
I can finally just hear a buzz of distant voices, which are talking and repeating some previous plays. Good.    
Can't hear my negative thoughts anymore. That's good.   
  
"Hey!" Fucking someone just scared the shit out of me!    
  
"What the fuck!" I jumped a little and looked at the person, who approached me so suddenly and without any notice.   
  
"Oh, whoops. Didn't mean to scare you." She smiled apologetically.   
  
"Rachel.." that was all that came out of me.   
Rachel Amber is just the angel of Blackwell. There's no chance in hell that she would like to just... talk, or something, with someone like me. Or maybe she just needs a favour. I get that. Some people who don't hate me ask me to do shit all the time. Like.. "does your dad hire a part-time workers into his company?" or "can you borrow me a few bucks? I will return it soon, promise!" and it gets annoying.   
  
"Yeah, I was just wondering if you're excited to play the role. Because I sure am, and since I've seen your previous one, I feel good about performing in the same play with you once again." That's all she said.   
It sounded heavenly to me. I mean.. she just told me that she looks forward to be performing with _me?_ _  
_ What do people say in these situations?..   
  
"Uhh.. yeah, I'm pumped. And.. yeah." I awkwardly shrugged and smiled a little at her. "Excited to perform with you too. You'll do great. You.. always do." The last bit came out a little quieter than the rest, but I'm sure she heard it.   
  
"Heh, it takes a lot of effort, believe me. If you ever want to practise your lines, don't hesitate and call me!" She disappeared from my sight as quickly as she showed up and I was just left with confusion and suspicion, that someone could actually just come up to me and tell me something pleasant, without meaning to cause any harm.   
  
And then I heard a door open and-   
  
"Hey, Travis, is here Nathan Prescott? We got an appointment today about his artworks."   
"Oh.. yes, yes. Sure! Here he is!" I heard Keaton's steps get closer to my corner and now he peeked from the curtain and looked at me.   
"Have you already read your script, Nathan?" he asked it so enthusiastically, like always.   
"Yeah, of course, Mr. Keaton." I shrug and then he disappears and there stands Ms. Cole.   
God, I'd say that Keaton is one of the teachers who genuinely acts nicely towards me, but he does it because I know how to play and that I actually care about acting. Otherwise he'd be just disappointed in me, ugh.   
  
"Shall we go?" Ms. Cole _is_ truly the one who cares about me, I guess.    
She told me that she sees, that I go through a period when I want my work to be recognised and viewed as something good, because, "I believe that indeed your art _is_ good, Nathan." - she said last week and I've been working on my blue book more than.. in a long time.    
But today I forgot it at home. Fucking hell.   
  
"Yeah, it's just. I'm sorry, I forgot my portfolio at home. Can you wait a little until I bring it back with me?" I actually feel a little nervous telling her this.    
She's one of the few who I don't want to hate me. Especially for my own errors.   
  
_ Prescotts are **perfect.** You won't embarrass our name. Ever.   
_   
Fuck. I hear this in my father's voice every time when I do something wrong. It's so.. uncomfortable. I wish I could get this out of my head.   
But then again... he is right, right?..    
Or is he?.. God, I don't know!   
  
"Nathan?" Suddenly I'm drawn back to reality.   
"Yeah?"   
"I said that you can go. I'll wait." She nodded at me and smiled a little.   
  
Then I nodded back and started going towards the main entrance of Blackwell, dialling my driver.   
  
***   
  
When I finally arrived to Blackwell's grounds, with my blue portfolio in hands, I stepped out of the car and went on the stairs, heading towards the main entrance.   
Above it someone already put the sign up, saying "Good luck seniors". What a joke.   
  
I went on and suddenly saw Drew fucking North. I know that he's probably pissed at my family, because my dad closed some shit down recently. That's bad.   
We locked eyes and his whole facial expression changed into some fury.   
  
"Come here, you little bitch!" He started running towards me, like we're in some kind of a football match, and I started running towards the main doors.   
  
"You won't talk to me like that!" I shouted over my shoulder, as I was running as fast as I could. He's gonna beat me up, oh god. I didn't do anything to him! It was only my dad! How can nobody understand?!   
  
I didn't see anything coming as I totally crashed into someone's back and because of that I fell down on the ground, my book falling from my hands as well.   
  
Drew instantly picked it up, and he didn't beat me up, because there was other company now - that being Chloe Price. I don't even know her that much, just that she causes problems a lot and has a big mouth.   
  
"What have you got here, Twitch?" He said, looking rather interested in my portfolio.   
  
"Don't call me that!" This fucking guy. What does he think he is?!   
Oh no.. now he's looking through my works. That's bad.   
I need my book back _right now._ _  
_   
"Oh, wow. This is some really weird crap, Prescott."   
I'm already up on my feet.   
"It's not yours, give it back!" I know that it's pointless to try and grab it out of his hands, but that's the last thing I can do.   
  
"I hate that you're on the team now. You're such a loser." Oh shit. Dad's already taken care of it? Then news spread quickly..    
I narrowed my eyes and looked at him with despite.   
He thinks he can play with me like with a baby!? I just need my fucking pictures back!   
That's why I try to reach out and grab it again.   
  
"Guys, no need to fight. You can both be losers." Chloe said suddenly and I looked at her quizzically.   
  
"The mute speaks." Said Drew and that's where I see an opportunity to take my stuff back, but it doesn't happen. He snaps it back to his side.   
  
"Whoah, whoah! You earn a spot on the squad, Twitch. You don't have your dad try to buy off the coach."   
  
You fucking shitbag.   
  
"At least my family pays tuition." I frown at him and I feel like I just can't stop this wave of anger anymore, I need to throw at least something back at him. "How much financial aid does your deadbeat dad need again?"   
  
Oh, now he's angry. That's good! Maybe now I deserve to be beaten up, but I don't even care.   
  
"My dad lost his job at the shipyard when your dad closed it down. And you want to talk shit to me?"   
Ohhh again, my dad my dad my dad. Why he hates on me so much then! I'm just protecting myself at least with hurtful words, if nothing else!   
  
"Leave Nathan alone!" Familiar voice. In seconds I look over at Samantha. Why is she even here? She shouldn't stand up for me in front of everyone. She's gonna be associated with a bad guy now, huh.   
  
"You know something, Prescott? I'm gonna do you a favour. You can't be a part of the team and be into this stupid crap at the same time." He shook my book right in front of my face.   
  
Leave my art alone, man. Really, why is he doing this?!   
He looks over to the fountain and I feel my heart beating faster when I realise what he wants to do.   
"You're a piece of shit. I'm going to kill you!" And I just run at him, because I just want my works to be safe and secure, fuck! Is that too much to ask?!   
  
I hear Sam yelling something, but I don't fucking care. I need it back.   
  
"Back off, idiot." When Drew heard these words being sad to him, he pushed me aside and picked another victim to bully.   
  
Actually, I thought Price was the type who would stay back and watch the show.   
  
"Back off? As in, go away. No one's interested in your crap." She said again. Damn, why is she on my side?   
  
"You're seriously defending Nathan Prescott?" Draw said.   
You started it, idiot..   
  
"How about picking on someone your own size? Which I hear is pretty small." Chloe was answering like she was meant to be in this fight, honestly.   
  
"You're such a crazy freak! Mind your own business." North really has nothing more interesting to say in his defence. That's hilarious.   
  
"What's crazy is that you haven't been held back yet. How's that possible?" Price continued.   
  
I look at Samantha and somehow she felt my gaze, and when our eyes met, I slightly shook my head - as in, stay put. I really don't want her to be stepping into some stupid fights. It already feels so weird, when someone's defending me.   
  
"You want a piece of this?" Drew said, clearly being too dull to think of a better reply.   
  
"You mean your budding bromance with Nathan? You're clearly into him. Just pull his hair, already." Ugh, what the fuck. Price.   
  
That's when Sam starts to fucking giggle.   
What the hell is going on?   
  
"Did you just laugh?" I swear to god if he even touches her-   
  
"I did. Chloe just owned you."    
  
"Shut the fuck up, freshmeat!" Oh, he seems to be hurt by that.    
  
"You shut the fuck up." Holy shit. She should spend less time with me.   
  
"Guess you got lucky this time, Prescott. Had two girls show up to save you. Take your pervy picture book." And he threw it on the ground.   
  
Will he stop already?! Such a dick.   
  
"Are you okay?" Samantha went to me in a blink of an eye and I just followed Drew with my gaze. I hate him so much.   
Then I spotted Chloe and she probably wanted a thank you note, or something.   
She didn't have to do that. I didn't fucking ask her.   
Actually I'd be happier if she didn't do anything and just watched aside.   
  
"You think I need help? From you?!" I yelled at Price and grabbed my book from the ground, rushing into different direction from the main doors.   
  
I'll have to use another entrance, just because of this stupid jock.   
  
  
***   
  
"Okay, show me what you've got." Said Ms. Cole and I was still holding my blue book tightly to my chest.   
  
I'm so nervous and I probably look so pathetic right now.. but she's known to have an amazing taste in photography and overall art, design, that kind of stuff.   
And her own works are a bit.. _lighter_ and different from my style, but I'm sure she's gonna find there something.   
I hope so.   
  
"Yeah. Here.. here it is." I carefully placed my portfolio on her desk and looked at her. Actually, I won't be able to look away now, because I want to see her reaction so much.   
  
  
  
Her expression changes. It's... a grimace?    
Come on, I poured my soul into these. Don't look at it this way, _please._   
Maybe I'm just misunderstanding something, and she actually likes it? Yeah, that's probably it.   
"Ms. Cole? Do you like it?" I asked with a smile, that was constrained by fear of her honest answer.   
  
There was silence. She looked through another few pages of my creations.   
Now she had opened a page with some black and white photos, one was taken on a graveyard, another in my house, where I placed a single skeleton hand on a lonely pedestal in a huge room.   
On the following page are some of my paintings. Few are heavily inspired by my own emotions and fears, and by Munch's Scream.   
  
She didn't look through it all and gently closed this blue covers.   
"Nathan.." Ms. Cole finally looks me in the eyes and smiles.   
But it's.. it's not a good smile, huh? Why?    
Why does she look at me this way?   
  
She didn't like it, did she. She hated it.   
  
"Do you have problems.. at home?" She spoke so carefully and quietly. As if she was afraid that my dad was listening just behind her office door.   
"Or do you suffer from anything?"   
  
I don't answer. Why.. is this a normal response to someone's artistic expression? I put so much faith in her judgement. For fuck's sake.   
  
"Why would you ask me that?" I answered rather angrily and loudly, totally destroying her dynamic of speaking.   
  
"I think that your artwork is heavily influenced by your experiences in life, and.. to be frank.. this style is too dark and heavy for me. I don't think that I understand everything. And I just can't find it aesthetically pleasing.."   
  
Am I that bad? At everything?   
  
"I'm sorry, Nathan.." She stood up and tried to pat me on the shoulder, but with my reflexes I basically slapped her hand away and quickly reached for my book.   
  
"Don't touch me!" I have no control over my emotions right now, so I grabbed my portfolio and ran out of her office.   
  
Nobody cares about my art. About anything that I do!   
Everyone just tries to be understanding and "help" me, but I don't need anyone's help!   
I don't need it..    
_  
"To me, you are totally fine. But just to replace your old therapist, I'm gonna hire a new one. But in my eyes.. you don't need help, son."    
_   
Maybe that's not my opinion, but my dad's?.. He said it so many times.   
  
Fuck.    
  
When I find myself outdoors, sun is already setting.   
I look around and can't see much people here.   
  
So I go over to the fountain and sit on the edge.   
For some time, I stare at the sky, noticing first stars and smiling a little. Stars are cool. Dead planets that still glow thousands of years, wow.   
  
But then I sigh and open my book. Looking through the pages.   
Why didn't she like it? I'm really upset about it. I thought-   
  
No. It's stupid. Thinking that anyone can appreciate what I do. Especially some skilled people in photography. Apparently I'm just a piece of shit.   
  
I feel that my eyes are watering and I sniff.    
Stupid school.    
If my dad was here, I'd be lectured even because I dared to cry. That's so bullshit.   
  
Suddenly I hear steps and wipe my tears away, but there are still wet spots around them. Shit..   
  
"Nathan? Can I sit with you?" Oh god. It's just Samantha. Thank you, life.   
  
"Huh, yeah. Yeah, of course." I don't look at her and continue staring at my open book.   
  
"Oh my god. Is that this project that you've told me about so many times?" She looked excitedly at my photos and paintings.   
  
"Yeah, but it's shit.." I say quietly, giving it to her.   
  
"What? Shut up!" She seems so interested in it and looks like she likes it.    
Maybe I'm misunderstanding even this one.   
  
"It's bad, you don't have to say anything." I look away just in time to notice a last glimpse of today's sunset.   
  
She really doesn't say anything for a while, I just hear a sound of flipping pages. Sam's looking through _all_ of it.   
  
"I love it so much, Nathan." She says and I look at her with a question.   
  
"What?.. But Ms. Cole said it was bad."   
  
"Cole? Don't mind _her_. Everyone's taste is different, and let me tell you, I'm into it." She genuinely smiles at me and then probably sees how relieved I look and reaches out for a hug.   
  
We stay in a hug for a long time and I just feel.. safe. And accepted? Maybe it's dumb to feel this way just because she liked it. But I worked hard on it.    
  
And if I think about it, it's more important for my friend to like it than some random teacher.   
  
Then we both go towards the dormitories and part ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everyone!  
> honestly i cant believe that i have already some feedback on it? at least a few kudos and subsriptions, that makes me so happy, thank you!
> 
> in this chapter i wrote a few horrible scenes for my precious son, but believe me i want to see him happy as much as yall do. Its just he HAS to go through all of this bad stuff because thats just how everyone treats him. But then again, theres Sam, Rachel and a few others who are gonna help him in some ways and Nathan's gonna get better <3  
> In the end he will not suffer as much as he did in lis, i swear.  
> i want nathan to be happy, woo! (however i suck hard at writing fluff... but im gonna try my best)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its finally here!! i have other scenes already written out, but they just cant be presented in the story yet. so i had to come up with something new :D

I woke up at the sound of my phone buzzing.  
It's 6am? What the hell.  
Who doesn't sleep at _this_ hour.

I considered going back to sleep, since I wake up at 7am normally, but then my curiosity won.  
So I reached out for it and opened my locksreen, which actually blinded me for a few seconds.  
Always forget about the brightness, shit.

**From: [number]**   
_Heyy, I thought we could hang out after school today, if you want. I'd be great as we already are acting buddies._

**From: [number]**   
_It's Rachel, by the way._

What the hell?..  
 _Rachel?_  


Would she really like to spend time with me? Feels unreal.

**To: Rachel**   
_Yeah, sure thing. See you later?_

Why do I feel nervous about it. Maybe because she's the opposite of me?  
A fucking sunshine and school's true extraordinary student.  
But I guess we have pretty same influential dads, huh.  
I hear about James Amber a lot at home.  
He even visited a few times.

Wait.. Rachel doesn't want to be all friendly to me just to gain some bonus points from my dad, is she?  
Certainly I won't tell him who I'm hanging out with anyways.

**From: Rachel**   
_Yay, that was easy. Excited for later!_

She's so positive. How does she do that?

But again.. it's probably easy, when your life is all sweet and sugar with the perfect family and all that shit.  
And nobody hates nor bullies her, huh.

***

School surprisingly flew by today, and in the end of the day I already stood in the park, near the fountain... and waited.

Yeah, sounds lame. I just stood there alone and waited for Rachel to show up.  
So many people are chatting and laughing, smiling... when someone meets my eyes, they all turn cold and dark, their dialogue tenses.

I admit that I did a few things _differently_ than others, but.. is it a reason to hate me so much?  
I have the privilege of a rich dad and I'm using it. What's so bad about it?

My trace of thought was interrupted by a sudden movement of blonde hair dangerously near me.  
"Hello there!" it was Rachel, and she was smiling like a _fucking angel._

My mind didn't even have enough time to form an opinion about her and how should I approach her, because... I never actually thought that she would like to be friends with someone like me.

And a few first dialogues were about generic stuff like school, endless homework, our passion about acting..  
No wonder everyone loves her. _Rachel handles conversations just amazingly._

But then we stopped in the park and her expression kinda fell, and it seemed like she finally threw away her mask... even though I'm sure there's a whole bunch of things that I don't know about her. Maybe that nobody does.

"You know.. I actually saw you _upset_ before the performances a few times." She started, and my heart just made a big and a fucking anxious jump inside my chest.  
Why is she talking about that?.. I don't like it.  
"And what?" my tone got more angry and irritated, because that's just how my defence mechanism works. And she noticed that.

"And I thought that maybe you're not just a shallow rich asshole as everyone else was telling me." Despite my voice change, she continued.

This conversation gets too intense. Why is she talking about it. Rachel, _stop..._  
But something deep inside was telling me that.. I should hear her out.

Just don't lose control, Nathan. Come on. Be cool about it. She's just talking. Just words. She's not accusing you yet.  
Everything's fine.

But my hands started to shake a little and it was not fine.

"What do you want? Are you trying to-"  
I started talking nervously, trying to build up some invisible wall, but she just broke through it, immediately interrupting me.

"I'm trying to tell you that it's okay. And that you probably have a lot of shit going on in your life. And.." she looks around as if she's trying to find some words on a trees or something, but then finally shrugs.  
"And that if you ever feel alone or anything like that. I'm here." She reluctantly patted me on the shoulder and then smiled, pulling her hand away.  
"Of course, you can start spilling your whole tragic backstory right this second, but I don't think that it's something that you wanna do right now." She was silent just for a moment, before adding, "I hope I didn't shake you up with this talk. And, sadly, I have places to go now, but definitely hit me up later, I'd love to hear more from you than I did today! It was mostly just me talking."

She laughed and then with a warm smile waved at me, running away, her blue earrings trembling.

 

_What the fuck._  
Does Rachel really see me as a human being, rather than just a rich kid?  
It's so.. strange.

Ideally I would kill for going to my dorm room right now and edit a few shots.. just to take my mind into the right place.  
But I promised Victoria that I would visit her in the evening..  
So I'm headed to girls dorms, plugging headphones into my ears.

***

I arrived to Victoria Chase's room and on the door there was a sticky note, with "gonna come any minute. if it's nathan, then go inside and get comfortable xxx" and I smiled a little at it.  
Not many people probably know this, but she has a pretty soft spot for sticky notes and she has a _lot_ of them. Uses it in all colours and sizes. Insane.

Just when I "got comfortable" on one of her pillow chairs, the door swung open and there she was.  
"Nateeee!" She excitedly went over to me and hugged me as I was still sitting, so I just patted her back and didn't even have to stand up.  
She closed the door after that, for a second looking out into the corridor.  
Then she turned into my direction and decided to take the chair next to me.  
"Are you gonna help me with that boring homework? I still can't.. uhh.." even when she's around me, she finds it hard to show that she might be wrong or not the best at something. But eventually, she did it. "Uhh.. it's just too hard. And you seemed to get it alright." Victoria avoided my gaze for a while, until she was her confident self again.

And so I did explain her what she wanted, and she started to fill things in, but suddenly she stopped all her work and crossed her legs, getting more comfy, and I saw how her eyes sparkled.

"So. The vortex club." she deadpanned.

"What?" I looked at her and clearly didn't get what she was trying to say by this.

"You know.." her eyes drove away to all her beauty and fashion magazines as she probably imagined some fantasies, because by her eyes she was clearly plotting something. "Do you realise that we can actually rule that thing?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I was tired. She won't shut up about this for days already.

"Why do we need that?"

"Well.. to get recognised. To get famous and popular and to lure people in, who would like to be like us."

That's a bummer, Vic.

"First. Nobody wants to be like us. Maybe someone would like to be like you, I don't know. But everybody hates me. And second? You're just telling me that you need friends, or something." I smirked as I teased her a little there, but her response wasn't something that I imagined.  
It wasn't sass, she just sadly smiled and her body tensed.

"I don't need anyone. You're my friend."

Even though I'm significantly closer to Victoria than to anyone else (except Sam) here, we still never established what was going on... and hearing her saying it out loud. Was really calming. And nice.  
She probably had a shitty weekend at home, if she talks this way.

"Shit, Vic. That's right." I placed my palm on her tiny shoulder and squeezed it a little. She put her hand over mine and then started sobbing.

I don't know what happened, but I'm gonna be here for her. She was always here for me, so that's only fair.

 

I didn't even realise how much time has passed, when she finally calmed down and actually went to the bathroom and freed herself from makeup, that was after this sobbing session all over her face.

"I'm done for today." She announced and flopped on her bed. "But you should keep in mind that Vortex club. It's gonna make us king and queen of this damn school, believe me."

"Whatever you say." I said quietly and got up, heading for the door.  
As I was leaving, I waved at her and she did the same with a brighter smile, turning on her playlist of some mainstream songs.

I just shook my head at this a little and sighed, going out to the park in front of the dorms.

Suddenly I felt a light buzz in my pocket and took out my phone.

**From: Sam**   
_Nathan, I couldn't find you anywhere, so I'm outside the dorms. I want to show you something and it's important for me to hear your opinion!! So if you have time, I'm gonna wait for a while~_

I almost reached the destination where Sam should've been waiting, and yeah. There she was, sitting on a bench, looking at some paper, holding it with tiny hands.

**To: Sam**   
_Actually, I see you. Arriving in a second._

I stopped for a while, just to see her looking down and then turning her head around, trying to spot me.  
Hah, that's what I call funny and innocent.

Soon I sat next to her on a bench and smiled a little.  
"Hey, Sam. What's up?"

"Hi, Nathan! We.. uh. We were writing an essay about hatred today and I was inspired by you, in a way. So I wrote a thing and I'd like to hear what you think about it?"

Samantha handed me her essay about hatred. Let's see.

_"It's so easy to hate someone. But have you ever tried to be compassionate? To understand what moves the other person to feel or act this way?"_

What?.. Sam, that's full of bullshit! How can she, of all people, write something like this? Doesn't she understand what I'm going through? I can't be compassionate and hatred is the only thing that's left for everyone who is accusing me of things that I've never done!  
I looked at her with narrowed eyes, but then just continued reading. I swear to god..

_"Maybe that's what you're asking yourself. But have you tried to be on the other side? Where compassion isn't the answer. Where people, who are acting this way, are simply... wrong. Because they don't understand your situation and they just choose to see what they want to see. And you're the one to blame in their vision. And it's not right._   
_One day you might encounter this situation, and you will be so sorry for everything that you're doing to Nathan Prescott."_

"Holy shit..." suddenly I'm out of words and.. uhh let me pull myself together.

I coughed and then looked her in the eyes.  
"It's.. can you really mention my name in the ending?"

"Well.. I'm not sure about it. Maybe I'll have to change it, because it has to apply to anyone who might read this, and not everyone in the world knows you.." she said silently and I just shook my head slightly in disbelief.

"Okay, that's whatever. But.. At first I thought that you're gonna pull through some hypocritical bullshit or something. But you didn't. And.. I'm- I'm glad for that. Thanks. It's good." I handed her the paper right away and looked up a little to see clouds.  
It always calms me down.  
I'm always stressed when I show any positive feelings towards anyone.. deep down I think that it's a weakness, but I logically understand that it's not. And that people, who care about you, like it.  
And I don't have a lot of people who care about me. So I'm always a little reluctant to do it. But I try my best.  
They deserve it for putting up with my shit.  
Sam, Victoria... even Rachel.  
They all help me in different situations. And they're all my friends, right?..  
They probably wouldn't go along that well, but that's only natural, I guess.

"Thanks." She said, after a while.

Today is such a weird day.. I wish that every day was like this. Filled with people who give a damn about me. It's.. it's really nice.

I like it a lot.

"Nathan? Why are you crying?.." she asked silently and put her hand gently on my shoulder.

_Shit._  
It's just.. everyone tries to make me feel bad, actually hurts me, manipulates me.. laughs at me. Makes me feel worthless and like I'm just a dumb mistake.

I didn't want to hurt anybody. I didn't want anyone suffering because of my dad. It's just.. out of my control.

And these guys..  
I looked at Sam, smiling, even though my eyes hurt from all the tears.  
.. they let me feel like I mean something. And I do. To them.

"Just.. thanks."

"I didn't do anything. Geez, you're so soft sometimes, I can't even believe it." She hugs me with these words and we sit like this for a while.

Then the sun starts to set and I wave her goodbye, returning to my dorm, filled with neon lights that make everything so pretty at nighttime.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a lot fluffier than i expected it to be??? basically nathan just hanging out with a bunch of friends  
> but... the angst is coming, everyone, dont worry :D


	4. Chapter 4

_ "One of the first things that you have yet to achieve is.. forgiveness. Based on what you told me, you can't forgive him. But maybe in the future you will have to. Forgiving him will free you one day." that session I told her about harassment from my dad. Sexual, emotional, every kind I could think of.   
And maybe it was stupid of me. Because she probably already knew that it's her last sitting with me.   
She was so good at this. She opened my eyes. And proved me that I'm not crazy.   
  
I remember that day quite vividly.   
  
"And do you think that what he's doing to me.. is forgivable?" I still wasn't hundred percent sure about her.    
Because everyone else would answer yes. Straight away, even without thinking.   
But her answer probably led to definite ending of her job for our family:   
"No. It's not, Nathan." she looked at me and sighed.   
  
Her long black hair was done perfectly that day.   
  
"This is.. your lesson. For today." Whilst she was saying it, she suddenly took my hands and held onto them. In this moment I felt a piece of paper being slid under my palms carefully.   
  
Then she let me go and smiled at me. One last time.   
After that, everything was a blur.   
  
Dad's men burst into the room and they were repeating something like "how dare you talk like this about Mr. Prescott!" and "You are spoiling the youngest generation of their family!", of course, all of this was bullshit and just a show to cover it up for me.    
So I would just sit back and think, "wow, my dad is so protective of me! Not letting me being spoiled by completely truthful statements of this amazing woman!"   
Instead of it I tried to stand up for her, but I ended up with a light punch into the stomach and with tears, because I was helplessly watching, how they drag her away.   
  
I'll never know what happened to her. I really hope that she just got off with a warning or something.   
  
***   
  
Later I was just sitting in the park before campus, on a bench that was facing tobanga. Yeah, **that** tobanga. But about that later.   
  
I unfolded the paper that my therapist gave me.   
  
**Your father probably knows his way around Arcadia Bay's police, so your only way out of this is..  
1; get good friends (at least one, Nathan, please.)  
2; and get the hell out of this city and out of reach of power of Mr. Prescott.  
  
You're so strong. I believe in you, and everything that is happening at home and because of your father.. it's not normal. You should get real help.   
Love you, stay safe x  
**   
I just stared at this. And then started crying. Thank god that nobody was around.   
Now I always have this piece of paper as some amulet in my wallet. Right under the little photo of my dad. That's the safest place, believe me.   
And at that time, just when I started at Blackwell, it was the only thing that kept me going.   
  
***   
  
_ I think about this incident a lot.    
But to live in the present, we have a photography class later on.   
I took my portfolio for today's project.   
It contained themes like... _loneliness, misunderstanding, fights and despair._ _   
_ Because we had to fit our pieces into the title of "your perception of Blackwell" and that was how I genuinely felt here. I hope my dad will never find out about these.   
The only way how can I escape this hell that I live in is through art. Maybe someone will see that.    
Even Samantha doesn't know half the things that I go through. It would be dangerous for her.   
  
"So, for today you will give me your three best shots and I will hang them on this board, and we will vote for the best three. You won't know who took each photo. This is the most democratic and fair way, in my opinion. So don't be shy and give your three favourites."   
Teacher pointed at us and tried to encourage us to move forward.   
For some reason even as sophomores we're all kinda scared and it's understandable that not everyone wants to be that guy who steps up first.   
But I don't care about that. Even if they whisper behind my back.   
  
I felt how Samantha's gaze followed my movement towards the teacher and I gave him my photos in an envelope so no one can see them.   
It's weird to say that, but everyone followed me and did the same.   
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Teacher, but I think that the middle one shouldn't be in the top three." said some tall guy behind me with a grin.   
The middle one is mine, though, so shut your mouth.   
"What? Why not? It was your voting, after all."   
"Yeah, but..." he slightly shook his head, "I actually think that it should be disqualified from the voting. It doesn't suit Blackwell at all and only a fool would capture it that way. That person probably wants to spread some unwanted rumours about this school if they think that this photo is appropriate."   
You bastard.. he knows that it's my picture, doesn't he?..   
I nervously looked at him and he meets my glare with his cold dark eyes.   
He knows. He fucking knows!   
"Let me disagree, young man. In my opinion, every person here has a different experience about Blackwell. And if this person's experience is like this, then we should actually help them feel better." said our photography teacher and I couldn't catch his next sentence, because I heard something that made me so so angry.   
"And what if this person's an asshole and he deserves everything that he experiences here?" this guy said it so quietly that only me and other few students could've heard that.   
"-but I believe that it's important to show every aspect of college life, especially in this project that we're doing." in the meantime finished our teacher.   
I'm not gonna sit around here while this dick clearly insults me in front of everyone. What's his deal?! Why is everyone against me? Have I done something bad to him?!   
  
"What's your deal, man... why are you like this only to my photos?.." I said under my breath with clenched fists on my desk, but I was loud enough to grab teacher's attention.   
I'm so fucking angry. It always has to be me.   
"What did you say, Nathan?" Mr. Teacher said awfully politely. I hate this fucking place.   
  
But I didn't give a damn about him and turned to the guy behind me.   
"Why are you dissing only my shots?! You're mad that yours didn't get in or what?!" I was so ready to do something.    
Something to release more anger. For them to see that I'm not to be played around with.   
  
"But.. he didn't know that it was yours, Nathan.." said another classmate, nervously touching up her glasses.   
  
"Oh, he knew." I replied to her with narrowed eyes, and then felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest.   
Everyone was staring at me right now. Fuck.   
Look away!   
"What are you staring at?!" as soon as I said - basically yelled - that, I stood up and stormed out of the classroom, slamming the door.   
  
Fuck.. why is it always like this. What am I doing wrong? I just want everyone to.. to like me? To at least respect me and... understand what I'm going through! That my father's name is not my definition and that our wealth doesn't make me an asshole that deserves every single struggle in this world!!   
  
I hear myself cry already. I quickly hide in men's bathroom and just slide down one of the walls, crying and trying to stop shaking uncontrollably.   
  
***   
  
I don't know how much time has passed, but I hear the door opening and I just try to hide myself more in some kind of a pathetic small ball.   
Now someone is gonna make fun of me, because they'll actually see me fucking cry like a little bitch. I'm so stressed and out of it that I don't even care anymore. I'll deal with that later..   
Just leave me alone, please.   
  
I hear somewhat careful steps getting closer and I don't even want to look up now. Please don't make fun of me..   
I feel someone's hand on my shoulder. Don't even have enough will to shake it off.   
  
"Hey, Nate.." it's.. Victoria?   
I finally look up as my hopes of being understood basically just went up from zero to ten.   
  
"Ugh, you look disgusting." she said quietly, but actually softly smiled.   
"You know, uhh.. maybe it's better if we go over to my room. You probably don't feel your best right now." she slightly patted my back and stood up, fixing her skirt and looking into the mirror for a brief moment to check up on her hair.   
  
I don't question it. She's... weird. To care about me that much just because we're friends? She just left the class and went to men's bathroom to be sure that I'm ok..   
She's different from other people in my surroundings..    
I'm just in rich hell, that's what it is.   
Everyone's showing off or trying to invent some new standard of things. I'm sick of it.   
But she still so genuinely cares about me. That's interesting.   
Victoria seems to win my trust each day a little more.   
  
  
***   
  
When I find myself at Victoria's room again, it already feels like my second dorm home.   
Her selfies hanging on the walls, inspirational quotes in glitter frames and all that.. it's so different from what I like, but I guess that's what's cool about friends?   
They can love each other even though they can't agree on a single style of things.   
Yeah.   
  
"Umm are you okay with me venting right now? I figured it might help you get over your anger..." she said, laying on the bed and placing her hands on her stomach.   
  
I mean.. I don't mind listening to Victoria, probably, ever.    
She worries about other people too much and would be better off just minding her own business. But who am I to say anything..   
"Sure, Vic. Let's hear your worries and insecurities." it kinda seems like she's at the therapist, heh.   
  
I wish I could get my old one back.. all of the new ones are hypocritical and work under dad, so that doesn't help anything. Especially me and my state.   
  
"Okay, Dr. Prescott." she laughed a little and it made me smile. "Let's start with the most current thing. I really fucking want to play Prospera at our play. I mean, wouldn't it be awesome to play together for once? Actually in the same scene?" she suddenly looked at me with this sparkle in her eyes that I know too well already.   
She's gonna do anything to get this role.   
  
"What's your plan?" I said and shuffled closer.   
  
"Well, I think that I can make Rachel Amber-" and she was cut off by her phone buzzing and ringing on her desk.   
  
I gave it to her and she just annoyingly rolled her eyes and took it.   
"Hello, Mr. Keaton, can I help you with something?" she answered with a pretty high-pitched voice, which usually indicates that she doesn't really want to talk with the person.   
Then after a few words on the other end her expression changed dramatically into a surprised one.   
"What?.. That's.." her voice was suddenly back to normal now, "that's amazing! I'm so.. of course I'm so sad to hear the other news, but I'll try my best, Mr. Keaton, you can count on me. Chase will save the day! See you later!"    
She hung up and basically jumped out of her bed and I stood up as well.   
I did good because she went on to hug me fiercely with her slim chicken hands.   
  
"What's up, Victoria?!" I tried to stop her, because that much affection is more than enough for me, but she was just out of it.   
  
When she finally calmed down and jumped on her bed again, she was biting her lip and looked like an excited 8-year-old.   
  
"I. Got. The role! I'm Prospera!"    
"What? Man, that's great!" Life is going our way, I guess. Fucking finally.   
  
"But what about.. Rachel?" after all she was really nice to me the other day...   
  
"Ahh, she got suspended or something. Don't know, don't care." Victoria fixed her hair and smugly looked into the mirror.   
Oh yes, now she's confident.   
  
Also I should ask Rachel what happened later..   
  
***   
  
And after a few hours we were together at backstage, already preparing for the play. Or should I say, we were totally freaking out together.   
  
"What if it was a bad luck and I'm gonna fuck it up?" she was looking at me with widely opened eyes.   
  
"No, you won't, okay? We're in this together, so we are gonna be okay." and shit I don't believe my own words.   
  
"You're right. We got this. We got this!" Victoria slapped me on the shoulders and shook me a little.   
It's not helping, Viiic!   
"Okay. Okay. I'm fine." she finally stopped and then we just sat there in silence for a moment.   
I'm pretty sure we both know the lines, but what makes us so nervous?    
For me it's the thing that... everyone in the audience is probably gonna hate me. So why should I even try, y'know?..   
  
"Nathan. I actually totally forgot about that, but I read this article another day," she started searching for something in her purse as she went on, "and it said that if you do that, it'll make you.. more confident? Especially when it writes someone who honestly wants you to succeed."    
She found a sticky note and a pen and wrote _"The best Caliban ever! Show them <3"_ and stuck it on my forehead.   
  
"Now you write something for me. Come on." she gave me the pen and another sticky note.   
  
"Uhh.. I'm not really.. good at this." I said reluctantly and looked at her.   
  
"Bullshit! Be faster, Nathan." she was demanding something positive from me now and.. I guess I'll have to try to give her that.   
  
So I wrote _"Prospera is cool and so are u"_ and stuck it onto her so fast that she couldn't manage to read it.   
  
Victoria rushed over to the mirror and then went "awwww" for a while and the next thing on her list was probably hugging, but she noticed something and stopped.   
  
I turned my head towards that something she was looking at and immediately got goosebumps when I saw-   
  
"Good evening, Mr. Prescott." said Victoria behind me.   
  
Why is _he_ here?   
  
"Hello, Victoria. Nathan, can I talk to you?"  his eyes met mine and I jumped to my feet that very second.   
  
"Sure."    
  
My dad went outside girl's dressing room and I quickly glanced at Victoria and she gave me a firm nod.   
  
When we went outside behind the tents to have a private conversation, first thing he did was to rip off my motivational sticky note of my forehead.   
"You can't mess around like this today."   
  
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." awful conversation starter already.   
  
"Your actions do not justify that 'you're sorry'. I thought that we agreed on something. That you would go home after classes to practise your lines at home, where you have peace and quiet. You didn't even show up. I suppose you were at Victoria's."    
  
"You're right. I should've told you beforehand." actually I didn't want to go home so badly that I probably convinced my mind that my dad didn't want me home today.   
Now I have to face the consequences...   
  
"You should've. I dearly hope that you won't screw this up."   
  
"I'm gonna try not to.." and as soon as I said it I realised that I had to pretend to be confident.    
This answer will only provoke more questions. How stupid..   
  
"What do you mean? You know the lines, right? Your makeup isn't that horrible either." he took my face and rotated it to see how it looks on the light.   
  
His fingers lingered for a second, but then he put them away.   
  
Keep calm, Nathan. Breathe in, and out.   
  
"So? I don't hear anything."   
  
"I.. it's hard to play the part even though I know everything.." I said quietly.   
  
"Why?" he asked with an annoyed tone, like he couldn't understand. He won't ever understand me..   
  
"Because they all hate me.." Fuck.. why am I like this? Digging my own grave.   
Plus I want to cry now.. fuck!   
  
"Nathan, please..."   
  
"I can't do it, Dad. I'm sorry!" oh, shit. Now I can't even control my volume.   
  
"Keep your voice down!" he shushed me immediately.   
  
"You don't understand. They all hate me. They're just gonna laugh at me."   
  
"Why do you suppose that is?"   
  
"I don't know.." I don't want to hear your opinion, dad, really...   
Just leave me alone...   
  
"Because you show weakness. Just like you're doing right now."   
  
I'm so fucking upset by this shit all over again. I can't even tell him a single thing!    
It's always me me me with him..   
"But dad.."   
  
"When will you learn that it isn't about you and your problems? This is about the Prescott name. _My name._ You will not embarrass me." his tone got dangerously low here and then he waited for a few seconds.. "Nathan."   
  
Yeah. It's always about him. About his name, his power, his money, his dick, he wants everything to be in control. In his control.   
And if someone disagrees, then he fucking crushes them. Not to the point when they die. But to the point when they're suffocating, but he lets them breathe every now and then to keep them alive and suffering.    
  
"Yes." I have nothing else to say.    
I will fuck this up now.   
I...   
  
"Good. Now," it seems like he noticed that someone is watching us, so he transformed in seconds into the best fucking daddy in the world, "break a leg. I'll see you after the show."   
  
I just wanted to play the role in this play. Because acting is one of the things that I really love.   
But that's.. no, he doesn't care about any of that.   
He wants me to show his greatness, his wealth..   
I'm his fucking toy. Literally.   
  
Shit. I need to scream.   
  
I hear his voice for a while and then he disappears. I go after him and suddenly almost bump into Sam and.. Chloe?   
  
I frown at everything in my way and just turn to go to men's dressing room and scream.   
"FUCK!"   
I look at my feet, just standing in the middle of a room.   
  
Breathe in, breathe out.    
I will fuck this up.. I can't..    
That's bad.   
  
I sat down and searched for my script.   
It's right there where I left it and I just frantically started rereading every single line.   
I know every one of them, but that's the only thing that will keep me from breaking down now.   
  
I'm not sure how much time has passed, but it's been a while, I guess.   
My eyes are already tired, from all that reading and crying.   
I probably fucked up even the makeup now.   
  
"Nathan?.." suddenly here's a light voice in the room.   
I look up from the papers, and of course - it's Samantha.   
  
"What do you want? You heard my dad, didn't you? I can't do it. I will embarrass his name now." I sarcastically laughed, which sounded more like a bark of a dying dog, and then I started sobbing again.   
Fuck! Why am I like this?   
  
Sam immediately went closer and hugged me. Well, now it was more like she was holding me. And I was just sobbing into her fragile shoulder.   
  
"Hey.. it's alright. He's not here now, is he? Don't think about him.. think about.. why you're doing it, right? You love acting, and you're fucking good at it. So show them. Do it for yourself, for once. And not everyone hates you. I'm gonna be there. And my mom. I talk about you a lot at home and she seems to like you. Also Chloe. She stood up for you twice already, that's saying something."    
  
I let go of her and started to nod.   
She was right. I should really do this for myself. Dad might think that I'm his doll, but.. I'm not.   
  
"Sam.. thank you." I said quietly and smiled a little.   
  
"Don't thank me. Also, your paint is ruined. You did it yourself?"    
  
I looked into the mirror and saw two clear lines from my eyes down, where the makeup was missing.   
"Yeah."   
  
Normally I would fuck it and just.. run somewhere else, or something.   
  
But Sam's words somehow.. inspired me not to give up.    
I won't give up.   
  
So I started to paint my face again.   
Samantha just sat there and watched me.   
It was... peaceful.   
I'm so grateful for that moment before the play.   
Now I was ready.   
  
"Thank you, Sam, really. I'll be there for you when you need it too."   
I took her hand and held it tight for a few seconds, but then it was already time to gather up before the show.   
  
So we parted ways and I went to stand next to Keaton and Victoria.   
  
Teacher started describing how "the most unkind misfortune has befallen on us" because Juliet is late.   
  
"I'm afraid we may have to cancel." he finished with the most heartbreaking expression in the existence of actors.   
Keaton, just.. stop being such a drama queen.   
  
I sighed and then Victoria voiced my thoughts.   
"That's it! I will not abide this lack of professionalism any longer. I quit!" she started walking away, but then came back again.    
Well, that's a true drama queen. I fucking love her.   
"In fact, I am protesting the entire Blackwell Arts program. It's time our talents were appreciated.." she suddenly started to breathe heavily and then she fell on the ground. What the hell.   
"Vic?.." I said quietly and sat to her on the ground, supporting her head.   
"Hey.."   
  
"Touché." I heard Keaton say, and looked at him.   
The student just collapsed and all he can say is touché? Schools.   
I started to slap her on the cheeks.   
"Victoria, come on." I said quietly again and more frustrated than before.   
  
"Mr. Keaton, perhaps I could fill in for Victoria?" suddenly I hear Rachel speak up and I jerk my eyes towards her and she's looking exclusively at Mr. Keaton.   
That's weird. And what is Chloe doing here?   
I feel like they've been planning some shit to happen.   
  
Keaton was of course over the moon with her request, and it happened that even Price was turned into the play as Ariel as well.   
  
I didn't get it, but I helped unconscious Victoria to be at least a sitting unconscious Victoria, and then I had to rush to the stage.   
  
***   
  
I'll do this for me. Fate is probably testing how many obstacles it will take to break me.   
Throw a fucking hundred, bitch. I'm nailing this play.   
  
And now I'm playing the same scene with Rachel, not with Victoria. But that's fine.   
Don't let it stress you.    
You know the lines.   
  
And now I hear "What ho, slave, Caliban! Come forth, I say."   
_ Okayfuckherewego!   
_   
I ran into the stage as a true slave, arms dangling loose, angry, tortured posture and dangerous voice.   
  
"As wicked dew as e'er my mother brush'd with raven's feather from unwholesome fen drop on you both!"   
  
I dramatically pointed at them and slammed my hands on the ground afterwards, as I continued;   
  
"A south-west blow on ye and blister you all o'er!"   
  
Now's the Rachel's line. Yeah. Yeah.   
  
"O ho, o ho! Would't had been done! Thou didst prevent me; I had peopled else this isle with Calibans." I pointed at other direction with my whole arm, as trying to portray the true character.   
  
"Fetch is in fuel, and be quick. So, slave; hence!" said Prospera and I went away from the stage.   
  
Now I'm standing backstage. And... I did it.   
  
That's it. That was my part, and I fucking did it.   
I can't help but smile at this.   
  
"Good performance." I heard from behind.   
  
"Victoria?" I glanced over and it was her. Standing near the wall and smiling lightly.   
  
"I'm awake for twenty minutes or so, and if I wanted, I could've just wrecked Rachel Amber and Chloe Price, but.. I didn't want to ruin the play for everybody."   
The way she said it, by everybody she meant me.   
  
"Victoria, I.. what even happened?"   
  
"I guess one of the bitches drugged my tea." she crossed her arms on the chest and looked away.   
  
"Fuck. Do you want me to do something? You know I can.."   
  
Vic looked as she was considering it, but in the end she just waved it off.   
  
"No. I'll fuck them up later. For now I'm getting over my pride and I'm glad that my friend nailed the part." she patted me on the shoulder and went.. to dorms, I guess.   
  
She didn't deserve that...   
  
**To: Vicc  
** _ Hey, Vic... I'm really sorry about that. Let's grab a lunch tomorrow? We can go to your favourite place.   
_   
I already wanted to put my phone back, as soon as I texted her, but the reply was almost instant.   
**  
From: Vicc  
** _ I'm having none of that. You sneak that sushi right into my room tonight OR ELSE   
Thanks Nathan xoxo   
_   
Well, that's an adventure if I wanted one.   
So I'm already booked for this night to have a sad snack with Victoria later...   
  
***   
  
After all I went out from the backstage and thought that there's gonna be no one around, but here I heard applause..   
  
I turned my head and saw Samantha.    
This girl..   
  
I smiled as we both came closer to each other.   
"That was outstanding, Nathan. Really great."    
"Thanks. I.. if you didn't support me back then, I would've been a mess."   
  
She chuckled, "Well, you did it anyways. I'm proud."   
  
Then I explained the situation with Victoria, so we went together to buy some food, and because I have nothing to fear, I simply went to dorms with Samantha, just turning the other corner to go to Victoria's room.   
  
Is it weird that I go there more often than to my own room? Damn, Vic.   
  
We ended up watching some stupid model shows and eating fancy food all night, laughing and sobbing and everything in-between.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went better than I imagined! And look, we're already done with the BtS (yes i refuse to write about that nathan scene in the hospital where we didn't even seE HIM. okay im just bitter now, but I don't think that it would help his story much anyways)  
> So from now on it's gonna be all original! Which is terrifying to me but I'll try to push through.
> 
> Have a good day! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated


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